I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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