maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
