covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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