You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You did what with his pubic hair?
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