just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize