Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
