so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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