Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
