i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
