I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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