Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
