Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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