I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i out mim tonsoeep
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