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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.

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• (949): View more from California

  So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder

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• (903): View more from Texas

  The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..

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