I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
where are my pants?
in the oven.