its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
