You're so nebulous sometimes
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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