As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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