We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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