Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
