so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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