found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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