i permit you to call me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
