In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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