By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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