i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
