So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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