Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
