you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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