Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
