I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
