you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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