someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
