If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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