Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
