just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
