Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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