whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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