It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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