so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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