I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
