I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize