it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
