you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize