if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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