Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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