Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
