At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
