I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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