go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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