I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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