I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
