Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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