I want to stick my p in your. b.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
