I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
