I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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