I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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