420 ftw
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
