YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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