i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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