i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
