Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
id be glad to
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
